Search Terms: What the holy hell?

Sometimes when I’m scrolling down my stats page I will pause briefly at the “Search Engine Terms” and read through the various searches that have somehow brought people to my blog. Usually they are predictable things – most commonly $900 facebook pony. That makes sense. Or PS of Sweden bridle. Or Ogilvy half pad review. Those also make total sense. But sometimes you come across one that is a little off the wall, or you might not even know what the heck it means in the first place, or you start to really wonder who the heck would google things like that. Here are, in no particular order, are my favorite “What The Hell” Search Terms that have led people here.

SearchTerms1

I feel like I should be offended by this.

SearchTerms2

Yup, out of the entire internet this is definitely the place to find really good socks that are cool.

SearchTerms3

This idiot. Ooo, ya almost had it! Ooo, 3rd times a charm! And why would you google that?

SearchTerms4

That’s the million dollar question, isn’t it? But that leads us perfectly to:

SearchTerms5

Again, I feel like I should be offended. I don’t even want to know why a search like that leads to my blog.

SearchTerms6

You’re doing it wrong.

SearchTerms7

Ok, I know what these three things are separately but I cannot for the life of me figure out how they fit together. English leather, bonnet, and belt? This has to be a riddle…

SearchTerms8

That seems like an odd thing to search for, but the fact that it led them here is fair enough.

SearchTerms9

Love u but hate u 2.

SearchTerms10

First of all: damn straight. Second of all: what exactly would one expect when searching the word “fancypants”? I admit, I went and google imaged it. For educational purposes of course.

SearchTerms11

Whaaa? Who? Huh? Now I want to know too.

SearchTerms12

For real right now, I don’t even know what that means.

SearchTerms13

NO. JUST NO. THIS IS NOT OK.

 

Bottom line? People are both weird and dumb, but at least they’re entertaining. I’d really like to know how some of these searches managed to hit my blog though. Out of all the big butts on the internet…

35 thoughts on “Search Terms: What the holy hell?

  1. lol that’s awesome. i had a couple goodies brewing in my stats section too – but then i think blogger did some work to remove spam and smut type searches and they disappeared… one was something along the lines of ‘a piquant brunette dressage evening’ and no i don’t know what the means either lol

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  2. Please don’t make me laugh this hard the day after I’ve been working on my sitting trot. My abs can’t take it! This is hilarious, and I have always wanted to do a blog post about the random things that have led people to my blog, but you did it way better than I ever could have. So funny!

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  3. I’ve also gotten the old woman breeches search term! I think mine was “middle aged woman breeches boots” which is shocking because nowhere in my blog do I discuss anything about middle age!!

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  4. Sugger mama! Bet they were disappointed when they found out you blog about horses. I had one search term I shared with my husband because it was so kinky/creepy and he said, “Don’t ever tell me things like that again.” I also had one “best breeches to hide cellulite.” Now that’s flattering!

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  5. So, for shits & giggles I actually googled “what does it say on the back of Wyatt’s vest” and not only does the question remain unanswered, BUT it took 4 pages of results to even find this post. Not cool, google, not cool.

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