11 things you need to know about Bobby

Bobby is now preparing his second installment in his “Bobby Tells All” series, and since the first one was so popular, I thought y’all should get a little more insight into who Bobby really is. After all, I let him have free rein to say what he wants on my blog without even so much as a rebuttal, so it’s only fair to provide y’all with a little bit of insider info. And I figured… what better way to do that than to share snippets of some of our facebook messenger conversations. You need the real, nitty gritty, not-at-all-fit-for-public-consumption Bobby. I will admit, I couldn’t use 95% of the best material because it was so full of cuss words and inappropriate subject matter that it wasn’t even possible to censor it enough to put it here. That should give you some idea of this nutbag I have to deal with. Without further ado… things you need to know about Bobby:

1) He loves boob sweat

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2. He has excellent sportsmanship

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3. Don’t share a hotel room with him unless you’re prepared for some… unpleasantness

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4. No matter how many times he writes it on my car, he is NOT my hero

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5. For real – obsessed with boob sweat

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6. He might act like I need him, but really it’s the other way around

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7. He’s basically the opposite of fabulous

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8. He’s equally as distracted about such pressing life mysteries as “What Unicorns Eat”

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9. He’s kind of just a bad person

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10. No matter how much he says otherwise, he really does love me

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11. And even though he’s a huge pain in the ass, he’s still my boo

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So, Bobby fans, as you wait in what is undoubtedly eager anticipation for Bobby Tells All volume 2, think these things over. I cannot refute most of what he may say about me, but at least now you know a little more about the source.

41 thoughts on “11 things you need to know about Bobby

  1. Are you sure that y’all aren’t related? This seems like total brother-sister banter. Granted, I’ve never talked about boob sweat with my brother, we have talked about his being gay (totally awkward given that he’s straight). I want my own Bobby. Where can I order one?

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  2. This is definitely a post I should not have read at work. Now that I’ve burst out laughing I have to try an explain why I find unicorns and boob sweat so funny.

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  3. Okay now I’m SUPER jealous because I did not have the My Little Pony castle, I only had the My Little Pony ballet school (which is probably how I turned into a DQ, now that I think about it) but I DID have the SheRa Princess of Power Castle, which the My Little Ponies lived in, with SheRa’s pink sparkly horse who ruled over them as a wise and benevolent queen.

    I can’t explain that tangent or why I thought this was a comment necessary for you to read. Bobby brings out the weirdness in your readers I guess?

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      1. they had shoes on the my little ponies?? WTF? seriously you all had some warped childhood 😉

        Bobby we love move away from the dark force’s shadow come to Delaware! We have lots of eventing up here! Halo would love it!

        She doesnt appreciate you! PFFT 🙂

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      2. For real though what were they thinking with those shoes. But they were so cute they had little horse shoes on the bottom!!!

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