The 10 Emotional Stages of Selling a Saddle

I’m sure the roller coaster known as saddle selling is familiar to almost all equestrians. At some point in our lives, or at many points in our lives for the truly unlucky, we have to suffer through this emotionally hellish experience. It’s a very tempestuous time, and not many of us come out on the other side unscathed. Let’s break down the process in gif form.

1 – Worry

First there’s worry. Worry that your saddle doesn’t fit you or your horse right. Worry that it won’t work out. Worry that you’ll have to SELL IT and buy something else.

2 – Sadness

Then you confirm that the saddle in fact does not work, and you do in fact have to sell it. Cue unrelenting sadness.

3 – Panic

After the first wave of depression begins to subside, you realize that you need the money from the current saddle to buy a new one. In the mean time, you have nothing suitable to ride in. Time to panic.

4 – Anxiety

Now that you’ve spent a few days hyperventilating into a paper bag, it’s time to list it for sale. Don’t forget to clean it, condition it, measure it 6 ways to Sunday, take approximately 9 million pictures, write up an ad, and plaster it all over the internet (because lets be honest, you’re still a little panicked). Feeling any anxiety yet?

5 – Annoyance

Don’t worry, the anxiety will soon be replaced with annoyance when you start getting a thousand messages asking for measurements and information that you already included in the ad. Because reading is hard. Try to stifle the sarcasm in your replies. Almost succeed. Just kidding, fail miserably.

6 – Exasperation

Then you get that one delusional moron that offers you half of the listing price. I guess they’re hoping either you REALLY can’t math or you have a serious drug addiction and need cash right this second to avoid prostitution. Now you’re officially exasperated.

7 – RAGE

Brace yourself for the next idiot. This one will ask you to send the saddle to her for a trial, promising to provide references to prove that she is “of trustworthy character”. When you say no (not just no, hell no), she lectures you for 5 minutes on the importance of saddle fit and tells you she MUST try it on her horses. You manage to keep it together long enough to suggest that perhaps she should try a tack shop that offers trials instead. When she replies and says she can’t because all the saddles like yours are significantly more expensive from a shop, hide all the sharp objects. You’re about to enter the phase of Pure Unadulterated Rage.

8 – Delusion

Consider riding bareback for the rest of your life. No seriously… really consider it. How bad could it be? You don’t really need your lady bits anyway. We’ll call this phase delusion.

9 – Love

And then finally, FINALLY that one sane person in the entire world comes along and a deal is struck. As you’re packing the box to ship the saddle off you consider including a small token of gratitude… like your first born child, or basket of puppies. That wouldn’t be weird right? Because now you’re pretty sure you’re in love with this random internet stranger who has rescued you from a pit of despair and/or a murder spree.

10 – Relief

Once the saddle has been dropped off at the shipper, you take a minute to enjoy the feeling. Relief and joy fill your very soul.. it’s like the first warm sunny day after a long brutal winter. You have money in your pocket, you’re liberated from answering 15 stupid messages a day, and now you’re free to buy a new saddle.

Oh shit. Buy a new saddle? Motherf*c#3r! Climb back on the emotional roller coaster, this ride ain’t over yet.

30 thoughts on “The 10 Emotional Stages of Selling a Saddle

      1. I’m the one (out of ??) who really wants your saddle. I’m also a trader. (We’re not all assholes.) The only $$ I’ve made this month is on buying the dips and selling the mountains. My longs come up short.

        You now have a vested interest in biotechs and consumer discretionary. ‘Cuz I haven’t given up.

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  1. ughhhhhhhhhh. i commiserate here, reeeeeeally truly. luckily my buying options aren’t contingent on selling the current saddle first, so i’m in an extra stage of ‘denial’ that i actually have to do anything yet at this point…

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  2. That was awesome, too bad you’re on step 7. :s
    This might make you feel better for a minute – there are unicorn costumes for dogs at Marshalls!!! They are white, with sparkly horns and muticolored sparkly manes & tails!

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  3. You forgot all the scammers. Those were my favorite when I was selling my saddle. The “I’m on a ship in the middle of nowhere. My shipper will come get it. I will mail you a check for more money than the selling price, just go ahead and give the extra to the shipper when they arrive.” Um..no thanks.

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  4. This is why I’m happy there’s such thing as consignment. Because realistically I will pay almost any amount of money NOT to have to deal with 4-9.

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  5. Oh my god, the interwebz brings out the best crazies when it comes to selling high priced items. Also, the panic is SO REAL. Then the buyer’s remorse when you are sitting in your new saddle that was magic and butterflies when you tried it but is now feeling not quite right… this is making me relive my own experiences, I think I need to go drink a bottle of wine

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  6. So true! I hate selling saddles, mostly for all the dumb people that come out of the woodwork when a saddle is for sale. Or the people who ask for a million pictures and a million measurements only to say that the either can only afford $500 below what you are asking, or that they were just looking. Queue extreme rage.

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