Extreme Makeover: Bobby edition

Yep, you bet your ass I’m taking credit for this one.

When I first stumbled upon Bobby in November of 2014, he was pretty adorable. I mean, who doesn’t love Wintecs, rubber boots, big shiny plastic helmets, faded saddle pads, and a crop with a wrist strap? He was very Pony Club Chic.

In case Bobby tries to deny my claims, I submit to the court Exhibit A – a photo from the exact event in which I met Bobby
Exhibit B – from the same day. He says he wore the rubber boots and ugly helmet because it was raining. It wasn’t.

Sometimes he looked considerably less PC Chic and more grown up, but still missed the mark in an old women’s show coat, black tie, and gray skunk stripe helmet. Not to mention those skin tight tan cotton/spandex breeches that I fantasized about burning on a pretty regular basis. He’s so much more fabulous than that.

seriously that coat though

Since we’ve been at the same barn for over a year now, I’ve spent most of that time berating him and telling him how ugly his stuff is. Because I’m a true friend, and friends don’t let friends look janky. Who knew I’d someday be doing a Straight Eye for the Queer Guy type of thing?

at least he’s cute

But between my verbal and emotional abuse, backup verbal and emotional abuse from our trainer, and the fact that he acquired basically an entire new wardrobe because of his AEC win, I’m proud to announce that Bobby no longer looks janky. In fact, he looks fly AF. Now his outsides match his insides.

Behold his XC outfit:

Control yourselves, ladies

And his dressage/stadium ensemble:

He made sure to take a picture where everyone could see the perfect amount of cuff from his long sleeve shirt, since at one point I told him his bony wrists were disgusting and I never wanted to see them again

New additions to his wardrobe include:

  • Charles Owen custom helmet – black with red piping (he won that)
  • Charles Owen vest – BETA 3 approved
  • Tailored Sportsman white breeches for shows
  • Barn logo tech shirt for XC
  • C4 belt/neckstraps – not just one but TWO (he won one of them)
  • Fancy boots on Halo – a full set for XC and a full set for stadium (he won one set)
  • a men’s tech fabric show coat, not the women’s wool coat he’s been wearing since the 90’s (he won the gift card for that)
  • white tie instead of the old black one, because welcome to the 21st century (also from gift card)
  • a new LONG SLEEVE show shirt, no more bare wrists (also from gift card)
  • Balls (he stole those from me)

He’s even revved up to buy a custom whip and chunk that silly wrist strap crop. AND he’s got a Stanley trunk (christmas present) and a ringside backpack (he won that too), plus he let me dye Halo’s tail for AEC. The only thing he’s still clinging onto is the Wintec. I did succeed in making him fall in love with a real saddle, but I haven’t yet been able to convince him to actually buy it. Soon. Sooooon…

we all know its a slippery slope

I have to say, I think Bobby is my greatest masterpiece. He’s beautiful.

66 thoughts on “Extreme Makeover: Bobby edition

    1. She has a knack for it, through repeated insults and name calling, she can pretty much shame you into anything – I mean I am going Training now and I said I’d NEVER do that again.


      1. isnt annoying your middle name? 🙂 Great work. He def needed help and you were eager to provide. The boots are great, the outfit is great, you go Bobby. He needs that saddle. HECK i need to know more about that saddle. Does it come in other colors!


        1. I told her I’d relinquish the Wintec and she could actually set it on fire if she bought me that oh so beautiful piece of cow hide with red piping…. (sigh)


  1. He’s lookin pretty fly! In our area, for the most part men just don’t ride english because they’re scared of wearing breeches. That saddle is lovely!!!


    1. The first time he tried on the white TS he texted me like “they’re so baggy, are they supposed to be baggy?”… yes Bobby, mens breeches generally are not skin tight spandex…


  2. I believe this is my favorite post of all time. Look at Bobby all growed up!

    (he looks awesome and I want you as my personal stylist!)


  3. I can’t believe you talked him into white breeches. Poor Bobby. I won’t wear white breeches. I do agree that the tan ones are hideous. He looks awesome. Good job.


      1. yes isnt he one of the annoying creatures who goes into dressage and slays everyone and then literally can coast thru stadium and CC cause they trampled the rest of us in dressage (My trainer is one of those LOL). Jerk 🙂 Hee..just kidding Bobby we love ya!


        1. We have new goals at Training, don’t gallop out of the dressage arena at the canter lengthening, don’t fall off in SJ, don’t fall of XC. Competition goal: Complete. LOL!

          Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m totally impressed with your handiwork – Bobby is The Man! I guess you had already gotten him to buy the nice boots? And yes, that saddle is perfecto and I have confidence that you and trainer will win him over sooner or later…


    1. He actually owned nice boots, just pretty much never wore them unless it was a show and there was like zero trace of precipitation. Now I very rarely see the rubber boots (which is for the best, because someday they’re going to have a very unfortunate accident).

      Liked by 1 person


    (But tbh, if I could afford that beautiful piece of cow hide you can bet I’d sit my ass in it and chuck the ‘tec)


    1. people either love or hate the wintecs. I have friends that swear by them too. I had one for like a year or more and could NOT wait to sell that thing. course my saddle now is a all purpose Zaldi (For dressage as well for now) that was sold to my by our very own Makeover Queen Amanda 🙂 hee….she really does look out for humanity on a whole doesn’t she! hee…


        1. whatever you know what i meant 🙂 its not dressage but i love it and i have people who ride in it that love it and want to buy it LOL!


    2. Don’t worry, my All-Purpose Wintec Lite isn’t going anywhere! (mainly cause I can’t afford that gorgeous red piping saddle!)


  6. You could easily start something as the Equestrian Stitch Fix. Or you know, a blog hop where you provide input to other (thick skinned) riders and whip us all into shape!


    1. I agree. Hey, I’d let you make me over. See if you can dress up this slightly scruffy chick, do something with a less than ideal body type. 🙂

      You can’t take my new dressage saddle, my Five Star bridles, or my tan FITS though. Everything else is fair game. 🙂


  7. If he wins the AECs at Training, does that come with a new saddle? Because it seems like that might be the only way you’re going to pry that Wintec from his cold, dead hands.


    1. YES. I highly recommend it. 😉 And the higher the level the more stuff you get!! USEA did an EPIC job of getting sponsorships and making the prizes A++!


  8. I reread the beginning like 4 times because I forgot Bobby was a human and Henry was a horse and I was like, THAT HORSE IS NOT BOBBY (Henry)…

    But, yeah, good job.


  9. Updated Bobby def looks better, but his old look says something about the kind of person he is. I think Bobby knew someone would talk shit about his rubber boots before he left for that event, but clearly he didn’t care…he showed up to ride. All that good riding helped earn him the updated stylies.


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