Yep, you bet your ass I’m taking credit for this one.
When I first stumbled upon Bobby in November of 2014, he was pretty adorable. I mean, who doesn’t love Wintecs, rubber boots, big shiny plastic helmets, faded saddle pads, and a crop with a wrist strap? He was very Pony Club Chic.
Sometimes he looked considerably less PC Chic and more grown up, but still missed the mark in an old women’s show coat, black tie, and gray skunk stripe helmet. Not to mention those skin tight tan cotton/spandex breeches that I fantasized about burning on a pretty regular basis. He’s so much more fabulous than that.
Since we’ve been at the same barn for over a year now, I’ve spent most of that time berating him and telling him how ugly his stuff is. Because I’m a true friend, and friends don’t let friends look janky. Who knew I’d someday be doing a Straight Eye for the Queer Guy type of thing?
But between my verbal and emotional abuse, backup verbal and emotional abuse from our trainer, and the fact that he acquired basically an entire new wardrobe because of his AEC win, I’m proud to announce that Bobby no longer looks janky. In fact, he looks fly AF. Now his outsides match his insides.
Behold his XC outfit:
And his dressage/stadium ensemble:
New additions to his wardrobe include:
- Charles Owen custom helmet – black with red piping (he won that)
- Charles Owen vest – BETA 3 approved
- Tailored Sportsman white breeches for shows
- Barn logo tech shirt for XC
- C4 belt/neckstraps – not just one but TWO (he won one of them)
- Fancy boots on Halo – a full set for XC and a full set for stadium (he won one set)
- a men’s tech fabric show coat, not the women’s wool coat he’s been wearing since the 90’s (he won the gift card for that)
- white tie instead of the old black one, because welcome to the 21st century (also from gift card)
- a new LONG SLEEVE show shirt, no more bare wrists (also from gift card)
- Balls (he stole those from me)
He’s even revved up to buy a custom whip and chunk that silly wrist strap crop. AND he’s got a Stanley trunk (christmas present) and a ringside backpack (he won that too), plus he let me dye Halo’s tail for AEC. The only thing he’s still clinging onto is the Wintec. I did succeed in making him fall in love with a real saddle, but I haven’t yet been able to convince him to actually buy it. Soon. Sooooon…
I have to say, I think Bobby is my greatest masterpiece. He’s beautiful.