There have been several bloggers lately writing about taking a minute to appreciate the small victories, or celebrate the good work they’ve done with their horses in general. I thought Lindsey’s post was a really good read, and it instigated a lot of self reflection on my part. This is kind of a tricky topic to talk about, so bear with me here. I haven’t really worked all the way through my own feelings about it yet, thus this is mostly just rambling about all the things that went through my head. Brace yourselves.
While I don’t think I’m a totally glass-half-empty person, I do think that I’m my own worst critic. I’m not good at genuinely believing that I’ve done a great job. But it also seems to me that, while no one wants to be (or listen to) the person who is constantly saying “go me”, I can see some benefit in being able to, every once in a while, celebrate our small victories.
Honestly, I’m a bit jealous of people who are capable of that genuine “go me” mentality and have the ability to pat themselves on the back. It seems like it would make things a little bit lighter and more rewarding. But it also seems like it’s just not in me at all. I can’t think of a single time where I got off my horse and felt like I’d done a really outstanding job. An adequate job, yes. Even a good job (and good is a really hard word to get out of me) on rare occasions, but I’m always acutely aware of the things I could have and should have done better. I think my most often-used positive self-descriptive word is probably “decent”. The idea of telling people that I thought I’ve done really well is even borderline mortifying to me. In my world, that’s just not something you say. At least not in situations where it’s intended to be serious, instead of laced heavily with sarcasm and self-ridicule.
I’ve heard, in other aspects of life, that it’s easy to be satisfied with what you’re doing until you know just what something truly outstanding looks like. Once you get a glimpse of outstanding, your bar is forever raised. I’ve been around a lot of good horses and a lot of good riders, and while it’s not really fair to compare myself to them, I can’t help but to keep them as my bar. Which also means that basically my bar is perpetually out of reach. Usually if I’m celebrating a job well done, it’s because my horse was amazing and he deserves the praise. What I remember about my own performance is all the things I could have done better. When I sit here and reflect on how far we’ve come, while I do think we’ve come a long way, my very next thought is “I wonder where he’d be by now if I’d done x y z better, or if he had a better rider”. And in a lot of ways, that’s what motivates me every day to try to be better.
I’ll be honest, it sounds weird to me when someone says “I rode really well” or “I kicked ass”. Maybe someday I’ll be good enough to where I’ll feel like I can legitimately say that (probably not, because unless I’m suddenly Buck Davidson type status I could never see those words coming from my mouth) but right now it’s completely unfathomable. I wish I could walk away from something feeling impressed enough with myself to say that, but I’m too busy running through my mind every moment where my performance was inadequate. Sometimes that gets a little tiring, and it’s easy for me to feel defeated, but it seems to be my nature.
I’ll also be honest and say that I’ve found that I’m a little judgmental of someone who heaps self-praise upon themselves. I just can’t help but see it through my “it could have been better” eyes. And my mindset really makes zero sense, because I could even be thinking “Man, she did a GREAT job there” but as soon as that person starts praising themselves, I’m like “Well, hold on a minute now, Kanye…”.
I can’t even tell you why I have this mentality. I’m a pretty confident person. I don’t think I totally suck at riding. I don’t think I’m a hugely negative person in general. I would like to say that it’s just a side effect of always striving to do better and to be better, but I really don’t think that’s true. Maybe it’s a humility thing? Not a clue there either. I didn’t really even realize I felt this way until I starting seeing it and realized that my first knee jerk reaction to it was that it made me uncomfortable. Ah, the things we learn about ourselves…
Where do you guys stand on this? Do you think self-praise is a good thing or a bad thing? To what extent and how often? Do you have a pretty easy time congratulating yourself on a job well done, or are you more hyper-critical? And more importantly, why do you think you have that outlook? Rider psychology, you are a tricky thing.
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This is such an interesting, complex discussion. Topics like this make me want to stick everyone in therapy and find out the ‘whys’ of how they view themselves! I tend to view myself in a similar way – I rarely look at my own performance as “great”, and tend to focus on the things I could have done better, or the things that weren’t perfect. I have to actively look for the good in every performance. I know I’m not naturally talented or driven enough to get to be a world-class level rider in any discipline, so I don’t have that hanging over my head, but even when I do something well there’s always a piece of it that could have been better. I hesitate to go to lessons, clinics, or shows until I feel like I’m “good enough” not to “embarrass” myself. In my heart, I am a perfectionist, and I don’t want to do anything unless I can do it very, very well. Riding is not something I am innately talented at, and I have to work VERY hard to just be OK at it… but that has helped humble me quite a bit and has done great things for my development as a human being.
That said, I do think it’s important to take a realistic look at where we are and to congratulate ourselves for goals accomplished, bad habits banished, and progress made. I know that I can make myself miserable by focusing only on what went wrong, or where I failed to measure up. But I don’t ride to be miserable, and if I’m stuck at BN for the rest of my life, I want to be the best damn BN rider I can be! So it’s important for me to acknowledge when I’ve truly done something well, to be able to visualize my progress and feel that I CAN be better. Otherwise, what’s the point? If we can never recognize when we’ve put in a good performance, we struggle on into infinity without, in our minds, ever accomplishing anything, and I believe it suffocates us eventually.
It’s important to say “Go Me!” every once in a while, ESPECIALLY for us perfectionist types. If someone is constantly cheering themselves along, heaping on the self-praise, and really believes that everything they do is perfect and awesome, then it’s probable that they need a serious reality check. But, in my case, the occasional “Go Me!” is an important part of my own progress as a rider and a person.
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I am actually extremely hard on myself. So, I do give myself little moments to appreciate, because otherwise, I’m toiling away with no end in sight. It also helps me take my own head outta my ass too and realize that maybe life isn’t what I pictured and I need to appreciate more. I will reward my horse for little victories, of course, so I can also be kind to myself.
I wouldn’t ever say I’ve ridden a round perfectly, but I think you do have to acknowledge what was good from what was bad. Being hard on yourself is understandable, even productive at times. But it can also hold you back at other times. I see plenty of people who need to be tougher on themselves and others that need to appreciate their own hard work more.
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Great continuing topic. I’m going to be that annoying person and say the words that will make you bang your head on your desk…. it’s all about balance. Go ahead, bash your head on your keyboard. But honestly that’s the best way I know to describe it because I totally do NOT have it figured out. On one hand, there will always be someone better than me – so isn’t it a losing battle to make others my bar? On the other, I can’t just not try and not care. On the other other hand, it a 50-50 split really healthy? I’m not so sure. I think it depends on the day and the situation… which sounds like the easy way out but is actually brain-breaking status to me. I swing back and forth between both. I went through a couple of years where I was so critical of my riding that I quit riding completely. I swung way on the end of the spectrum of analyzing things to death that I literally analyzed my riding… to its death. I swore to myself I would NEVER do that again – it didn’t make me happy and it wasn’t what was best for my horse. Now, I’m getting back in the saddle legitimately, have a fab trainer, am riding 4+ days/week…. and I’m firmly sucking. It’s like I can’t make my body do what my brain knows it should. Freaking consciously incompetent. And when I stop and think about it, that sucks. But at the same time, I am so damn HAPPY to be back in the saddle – even sucking. I know that I’m type A and a good learner and hard worker. I know I’ll get better. I have good moments here and there and I know they’ll become more frequent. The key for me is to keep riding and keep striving for balance…whatever that means for that day.
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I totally get what you’re saying. This is kind of where I’m at but my brain often flutters back and forth.
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I am also my own worst critic, and am harder on myself than anyone else. For me though, that type of thinking is defeating and it’s important for me to frame my rides in a positive AND negative light. For example, whenever my trainer asks what I thought about a round, I start by saying what I did wrong, but then follow up with something I did well. I’ve had to work REALLY hard to always find something positive to say about myself a lot of times, but now that I’ve done it for so long, it comes more naturally.
Stopping to look at the roses, and being a more positive person are not my nature. In fact, they’re difficult for me. But I’ve found that it’s well worth the struggle to do these things, as I’m a happier person for doing them 🙂
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So I’m a huge fan of celebrating the small wins – and as such, i might point out that the way I see it doesn’t really match the assessment in this post. To me (and others may feel differently), it doesn’t mean that I think “wow I’m the best, there is literally nothing I could have done better!” Rather, I firmly believe that sometimes just doing decently or just surviving, getting to the other side in one piece – that’s worth celebrating. Sometimes that’s the biggest accomplishment. And sometimes I want more. (constructive criticism is massively important, but is best taken objectively rather than emotionally)
Actually, I’m 100% positive (and suspect that many would agree) that there are other riders who can undoubtedly do a better job than me on most things. But just bc I’m not going perfectly doesn’t mean I’m not doing pretty well – for ME.
Really, my philosophy is about optimizing, not maximizing. To have an ‘optimal’ ride means to ride as well as might be reasonably expected for me at this point in my training – or maybe even a little better. A ‘maximal’ ride would be perfection, not easily attained. And if that’s my only goal I’m likely to be disappointed.
Really I guess the most appropriate attitude for a rider depends on the rider’s goals. My attitude would not be appropriate for a professional rider paid to campaign horses. But it works pretty well for my adult ammy self lol
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“Really, my philosophy is about optimizing, not maximizing.” This is really interesting to me! I’ve never thought about it in quite these terms but I totally see what you mean. More food for thought.
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I kind of wish I had your outlook, honestly. I’d like to be able to celebrate (like actually genuinely celebrate, not in a sarcastic way) that I didn’t die. That just wouldn’t be genuine coming from me though, it’s NOT in me. Not at this point anyway. I’m sure it would help me in other ways if I could ever figure that mentality out.
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now that just sounds defeatist! which i’m pretty sure is the exact opposite of your point in this post ;P
seriously, tho. i get it. we work hard, set high expectations, and are sometimes disappointed. often bc of avoidable or stupid mistakes. that is hard to swallow. but how we accept that disappointment and move forward is a choice.
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I know it sounds defeatist but I don’t feel defeated. Not most of the time anyway. I actually feel pretty positive about things in general, I just am so uncomfortable with celebrating little things. I dunno, my brain is weird as hell. lol
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I think this part of the discussion really helped me get where you’re coming from. I can more easily celebrate little things my horse did — he didn’t freak out over a new filler! he got through a whole dressage test away from home without bucking! — than I can about the little things I might have done along with those things. Even if I rode the best I could but the outcome wasn’t great I’m like “oh great I didn’t die… neither did anyone else here today. Way to be in the 100%.” Sometimes because I know there’s better in me, or better in my horse, or just better in THE WORLD. So I get where your brain is coming from.
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I feel like I’m overall a positive and happy person as well, but if you asked me if I was good at riding, or most things really I would say “no”, or “I’m average” or something along those lines. I also compare myself to the upper level greats (which clearly isn’t fair because I haven’t been riding as long, have the nice horses at my disposal, the same amount of time available to ride, etc) because even if that goal is unobtainable, that is where I would be if I could.
I’ve always thought of myself as being positive but realistic when it comes to my performance. Certainly some people are way too hard on themselves and beat themselves up mentally more than is healthy, but when I say I didn’t ride this well, instead of trying to beat myself up I’m really trying to say, “I could have done this better, I need to spend more time working on this”.
Certainly there are some little victories (or big ones) worth celebrating, and I think in general when I write on my blog I tend to celebrate those victories more than I talk about what I still need to work on, even if that is going on in my head at the same time, because in general I try to stay in a positive mindset and I also think that my readers honestly don’t care that on my second course I got a little too deep in the third corner.
Sorry this post was rambling and probably did not make sense. But I’m with you!
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You have no idea how much better this post makes me feel! I have many of the same feelings you do. Last summer, I went to my first show in about 6 years, and even though I did REALLY well considering the horse I was riding hadn’t shown in 10 years and I only jumped him 5 times before that. My goal was just not to die. Everyone kept telling me how well I did and I know I did well, but I could not get it through my skull to pat myself on the back a bit and enjoy i did well.
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So interesting. I did a blog post recently along these lines, but focused on performance during a show. I don’t beat myself up about what I should have done better during regular work and practice, because it’s practice. But very hard on myself while showing. But I’ve vowed to be kinder. Not a Kanye thing, just not so self deprecating.
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While it is impossible not to invest myself emotionally in riding, I prefer objective reflection on both my mistakes and my accomplishments, whether coming from myself or a trainer. I also think the horse is the best judge of our riding, and a horse that consistently performs well is being ridden well, and is taken care of well. Yes, there are saintly school horses, and horses in training that cart their riders around because they’ve been regularly tuned up by another more competent rider, but for those of us who are our horse’s only rider, our accomplishments are reflected in our horse’s performance. My horse looking good in my own eyes is the highest praise I can give myself.
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Well said! I know that the only times I feel truly low are when I think I’ve messed up my horse somehow. But as long as he’s doing well it can’t be THAT bad, right? Granted, I think he was born with a pretty good sense of humor. 😉
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And for me, the mistakes stand out as pretty much burned into memory, but not so with accomplishments. Every time I have a rail, it’s “I SUCK at this” but for all the good fences it’s not “go me” but “I suck less today.” Self-praise is just foreign to me. Gee, sports psychology is so fun!
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SAME!!! I like that we’re the same kind of mentally weird.
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i love this Karen – great perspective!
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While I am also my own worst critic, I think it’s important that when you have a good ride, gave your horse the rides that it needed and it responded accordingly, it’s ok to give a little self praise, because those are the rides you live for as a rider, so enjoy them! For instance, I took my horse to her first show in Sept, so expectations were low, but I had some great rides, and said as much when people asked. Likewise, I also gave her a really horrible ride in the .90’s, and wasn’t afraid to say that, too.
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What a thought provoking post! I am a horrible self critic and only think the worst about myself. I am trying to be more positive in the little victories, but I want more and have high aspirations and never feel close. OTTBs have a way of making you feel like a failure. I’ve had B for 2 years and done nothing with him, and even with Yankee, going on 11 years and never qualified for AEC’s, just feels like a complete fail. But then I think, who is judging? It should be against ourselves, as there will always be someone better and more successful and it SHOULD be about personal successes. It so difficult to flip that mindset, but in attempting to do so, I feel the drive to be better at the small goals before getting too worked up about end goals and comparing myself to others. (which tbh is HARD, since there is blogging and social media all over to remind you how well others are doing, so seemingly easily as well)
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I am quick to give all the credit to the horse. He was a rockstar and blah blah blah. As far as I go I have a bit of imposter syndrome. I’m always sure I just got lucky and it wasn’t actually anything I did.
I am more tolerant of other people celebrating their accomplishments depending on how they do it. For an example a friend got her doctorate got drunk and ran around downtown yelling I’m a doctor b****es (hysterical) another friend got his doctorate got drunk and wanted everyone to call him doctor (not cool). Same accomplishment both bragging that they were doctors but I was ok with one and not the other.
I do think that it is good to acknowledge a job well done but I prefer it to be done with some humor and humility.
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I agree with that 100%. How I feel about it seems to totally depend on how it’s presented.
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I can see both sides. Riding is a sport where there’s always room for improvement, so to say “I did that perfectly” is probably not accurate, and there is always things you can look at to do better. However, I believe that some degree of recognizing achievements is necessary to keep motivated as well.
I think one component of what attitude you have yourself is what you get from people around you. If you have the type of trainer or friends who always tells you when you did well, you can keep your internal dialogue about criticism. On the other hand, if you have a trainer who nitpicks every mistake, you probably need to be your own cheerleader more. Since I am the only dressage rider at my barn and don’t currently have a trainer, I feel like I need to balance the positive and negative thoughts in my own head as there’s nobody else to do it.
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Thanks for the shoutout! I think the inside of most of our brains is a rather scary place. For me if I am too judgemental of myself my riding suffers as I start second guessing everything I do and the horse totally picks up on that. So, yeah I’m working on ‘go me’, but I know that I’m not in danger of stopping learning because of a too big ego because horses are forever humbling. Seriously loled at the Kanye reference, I think most of us were raised with the idea that being humble is a virtue and that hubris should be abhorred, and this is true. That said, I’m all about attempting to find that middle ground.
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Thanks for making my head explode.
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Lol, anytime! We can blame my red hair 😉
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I struggle in many aspects of my life with Imposter Syndrome, so I can sympathize with the feeling of this post in general. I’ve always been “kinda” good at a lot of things but never REALLY good at anything. I beat myself up about that a lot because I wish I was spectacular at something. When it comes to my professional life I am a much worse critic, but when I am riding I try to do the best I can for every ride. I waited 30 years to finally have a horse of my own and I’d be remiss to overlook the incremental successes and not celebrate them (even if in a small way). I’m more of a “the journey IS the destination” kinda girl so it think the value I place on small wins seems more monumental. Like most of the commenters I do want to be competitive, but I’m competing against myself.
That said, I can feel myself self-analyzing when I read other blogs of people who are more competitive, further along with their horse, winning all the things, etc… but that isn’t totally useful for my riding.
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You know my stance on this. I am way skeptical and even sometimes pessimistic about my own riding. It is not uncommon for me to get off and say “she was so good despite me riding like a drunk monkey” or some other inappropriate circumstance.
I do like to make note of things that are improving but it kinda makes me sick when I hear people repeatedly patting themselves on the back when they really haven’t done anything. Yes give credit where credit is due… But don’t just blow hot air at someone or yourself to make yourself feel better… That is just setting yourself up for failure because the rest of the world won’t see whatever magical task you took on as that great… When it comes to horse shows we have to remember that you are going to be getting a relatively unbiased opinion so just because you might think you are amazing doesn’t mean that whoever you are being judged by will be wearing the same rose tinted glasses… And that brings me to another subject – people that think them not winning a class or doing well is clearly bc of favoritism or anything besides them not being as amazing as they believe they are.
Rant over 😉
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“people that think them not winning a class or doing well is clearly bc of favoritism or anything besides them not being as amazing as they believe they are.” FOR REAL. Preach.
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^^^ yep!
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See, I evaluate the ride’s success on the horse- most often when talking about my rides, “my horse did great” is what comes out of my mouth. I have a 3 year old colt I couldn’t be more proud of. My mare always tries for me, too. Now if the ride doesn’t go well, that is my fault and I am always re-evaluating how I am doing things when we have mishaps. I’m with you when it comes to thinking of myself as a “decent” or “capable” rider. My horse is my teacher, and instead of beating myself up about it or comparing myself, both which I used to do; I try to take time and listen to the horse. There will always be so much knowledge to gain from our horses. About riding and life in general- and especially how to be humble.
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Riding is hard, really really hard. I think it’s important to keep that in perspective. The more accomplished you are at it, the harder it gets, since you are now expected to achieve a new level of skills.
I think you have to be happy if you accomplished the goals you set out to for that ride.
My husband and most of my close friends are either professionals or highly accomplished riders, so obviously I’m not going to look so amazing to if I compare myself to them. Instead I try to be truly satisfied if I ride well that day, or accomplish something I set out to do, or just get closer to a long term goal.
I also have tons of friends at the beginner level, and while I appreciate it when people are realistic about they’re skill level, I have no problem with anyone patting themselves on the back for a good round, not being terrified at the in gate or just staying on. Because riding is hard.
The horse friends I enjoy being around are the ones that truly get great joy out of riding and have no problem saying they had a blast, their horse was amazing, and they rode that round pretty well. I much prefer that to the rider who is always down on themselves or self criticizing. Because riding is hard, but it’s supposed to be fun.
Just a bit of perspective, I often watch the Grand Prix Classes near the in gate, as I did last Saturday night. Almost every great rider that came out of that gate had a huge smile on his/her face. The other riders watching at the gate cheered them on and congratulated them. If the round wasn’t clear, they still had something positive to say. The winner of the class last week was pretty damn happy with how he rode, and nobody cared that he thought so.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that great riders have positive attitudes and self confidence. It’s pretty impossible to accomplish something this hard, if you don’t believe in yourself. So maybe you aren’t going to ride in a Grand Prix, but you should feel damn good about what you accomplish on a daily basis. Otherwise, what’s the point?
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Oops their not they’re. Better just focus on horses.
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I love this response!
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I’m solidly in the middle. I’ll come out of a SJ round and maybe say “That wasn’t bad!” And be excited about that. But I agree with you- I’m more about wanting to make everything perfect… so I rarely ever think “That was GREAT.” Unless its xc. Because all those endorphins and adrenaline make me think I am super woman sometimes….But then I watch the video and come back to reality….
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LOL I know what you mean
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It’s a hard question! And well worth it’s time to have a think about. Personally, I can’t tell myself that I did a good job straight away, it hurts to admit that we accomplished. And that’s the humour in humanity! But looking back to things that have happened, I can give myself the praise for something that I did 6months, a year or 4 years ago.
Not being so hard on yourself is a balance between lifting our own mentality to carry on and do better, and as you said…not becoming Kayne West.
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This is definitely tricky. I think, especially for those of us (which seems to be a LOT of the riding community from what I can tell) that tend to be hyper critical, and also really competitive, it is really easy to look at other riders who are better, farther along, whatever and think that we aren’t good enough because we aren’t as good as them. I think it’s great to use other, better riders as motivation, but comparing ourselves to another rider can be less than productive. There are a lot of factors that play into where each rider is in their riding “journey,” and what has allowed one rider to greatly improve may not be something we have access to such as time for several rides a day, the right horse, and the money to show and lesson and gain experience.
I think a more productive outlook is looking at what we are capable of, and whether we lived up to that. Certainly we are going to make mistakes, but if we rode to the best of our ability, that is worth celebrating. There’s a difference between “I am capable of better” and “I should be better.” At any given time, we are working with the knowledge and ability we currently possess, not the knowledge and ability we see in others who are farther along, that we think we should possess.
So with that being said, I try to compete more with myself rather than comparing to other riders. My goal is to always be better than I was. Not better than someone else. If I have clearly done something well that used to be a struggle, or at least better than I used to, that deserves at least a little self-praise, with the awareness that there is probably still room for improvement. I’m certainly not saying I am 100% perfect at this, because I am very critical of myself, and I am super competitive, but when I remember this mentality, I am generally much happier with myself and my horse, and much better able to enjoy the sport.
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Shoot I wrote a novel. My bad. Lol
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This is a very interesting topic! My perspective has changed as I’ve aged. When I was younger (in my teens), I was VERY self-critical and spent a lot of time obsessing over the details of every ride and how it could have been better. I’d get a bad distance to a couple of jumps on a cross country course or have my horse trot through the water complex instead of gallop and spend the rest of the day mentally griping about what a shitty job I did.
At some point in the last 5 or 6 years, I just stopped beating myself up about these things; I don’t know why, really. Now, I have a much more subdued response. Instead of thinking, “UGH, ALL of our canter transitions in that test were HORRIBLE, I should have done x, y, and z to fix them and I’m going to go home and do a, b, and c”, I now think, “Well, those canter transitions weren’t great, but that’s our best dressage score in years, and we’ve progressed so much.” I understand and accept that I am not the best rider on the best horse, but that doesn’t mean I can’t put in the best effort my horse and I can manage and attempt to improve in the future.
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I really think it has to do with what your goals are. Mine are to be happy and have fun. Yes, I would like to improve as a rider, but only to be as fair as possible to my horse.
Riding is my hobby. I have a lot of responsibilities in life – my job, my family, my marriage. Riding is something I choose to enjoy. Like Stephanie said above, my perspective changed with age. As I got older, I cared less about comparing myself to other riders and accepted my shortcomings. I still lesson weekly. I try to improve. But my number one goal is to be happpy and have fun, and if that isn’t happening, something’s got to change.
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My brain is just not functioning very well today, but I agree, the psychology part of riding is a tricky, tricky thing
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If anything my horse and I are a “we” but I almost always just put credit on him. Even when I ride other horses, doing something magical is less of a “I’m an awesome rider!” and more of a “look how well we communicated! I know my aids and your effort contributed to the success”
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I can’t say YES enough times to this. This is EXACTLY how I feel, ESPECIALLY the part about other riders being so positive about their own efforts. I literally cringe when I read how well someone else is doing. I wish i could change that, but I am just like you: how can I be good at riding when Charlotte and Steffen are ALSO riding? No matter how well I ride (or usually don’t), millions of other riders will ALWAYS be better than me. How can I possibly meet that expectation?
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I am my hardest critic and I don’t want someone blowing smoke up my ass… That said I need to hear when something I do is right. I work hard and ride hard so I don’t want un due praise by any means.
I am very math brain so to me there is a formula to do things (which isn’t always right lol) but in hunters it’s mostly calculated- so you have to do xyz right.
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I know there are always things to improve upon. But I also know that I have come a long way. Do I have a long way to go? Absolutely. Would I say I am a spectacular rider? Of course not. But that doesn’t mean I can’t pat myself on the back because I managed to stay out of my horse’s way and allowed her to do her job. That I can’t take credit for the fact that today, I managed to remember to keep the weight in my outside seatbone while I was doing a leg-yield, or that today, I managed to get a clean change on course when I asked for it, which only happens when we have the right balance. I am hard on myself, always. And I expect my trainer to be hard on me as well, because that is the only way I can get better, and that is what I pay her for. But if I couldn’t take enjoyment in the ride to get where I am, and look back and say “look at all I’ve managed to do” then there is no point in continuing.
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I think it is just a question of how much we care about something. The more we care, the harder it is to not want to be better than we are.
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Self-praise is a something I definitely struggle with. I’ve gotten a LOT better with it than I used to be in recent years, but it’s an uphill battle. For me, as long as I’m not totally beating myself up about things and being overly hard on myself, I’m good. That’s a victory. I’m like you – always want to improve and always set the bar at the better and best riders. It isn’t an easy bar to reach necessarily, but it makes me continually improve!
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