One Year Later

My mom passed away one year ago today.

I’ve never lost anyone that close to me before, and coping with it has been, well, weird. Sometimes I forget she’s even gone, usually when I find myself having the urge to call or text her about certain things before remembering she’s not there. Reality hits hard every time. Like during breeding season – my first reaction to every ultrasound was to send a picture to my mom. She would have been super excited about another baby horse.

ultrasound64
Things moms get excited about, regardless of species

Flagstaff was also one of her favorite places, and while we were there I thought about her a lot. There’s no doubt she would have thought that was one of the coolest trips ever, except for maybe the 10 days of camping part.

At her funeral we handed out CD’s with Love Shack on it… that CD lives in my CD player in my truck. If I find myself thinking of her and need a pick-me-up, I play it. Two button pushes and there she is, personified in a song. Works every time.

And yes, I still put a purple rubber band in one of Henry’s braids on show jumping day, in honor of her. Ok, she would probably prefer head-to-toe purple and lime green, but she’s gonna have to settle for a purple braid. I think she’d be ok with that compromise.

16 thoughts on “One Year Later

  1. I am sure your mom would be really proud of you and totally accept the compromise band 😉

    It’s funny that you have love shack as your song to cheer you up. When I get sad about my dad I put on the 70’s hits station and jam out to brick house, war, YMCA, etc.

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  2. I can imagine that in some ways a year feels like forever, but in others it feels like no time at all. Many virtual hugs to you. ❤

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  3. Oh, so many hugs. Without actually touching, because I have a hard time with the touching part. And I too tried to honor a lost loved one (my grandpa) during my event by wearing his doo rag out on xc. It was kind of like taking him along for the ride.

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  4. it has been a bit over two years for me (losing my mother) and it is the same. Certain times i pick up the phone to call her or forget she isnt around. But I miss her daily (hourly) at times. Sucks. How is your dad doing Amanda? My dad (they were married for 50 years) has had a hard time of it but is doing slightly better now. But your dad is a lot younger than my dad. Hope the whole family talks about her a lot that seems to help!!

    And Love Shack helps EVERYTHING! 🙂

    PS I think head to toe purple is in order for you and Henny one day 🙂 Take photos! HA

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  5. I can’t even imagine what’s that like. I lost my first step mom to cancer, but still nothing like losing your actual mom. Hugs to you and your family. I’m glad you have little things to keep her close to you like Love Shack and the purple braid. ❤

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