When mainstream fashion goes “equestrian”

Next time someone gives me the stink eye in the grocery store after I’ve been at the barn, I’m just gonna pretend like I’m haute couture instead of a hot mess. The equestrian trend still seems to be hanging in there, and this season has delivered a couple of real winners.

For instance, Tory Burch, who made paddock boots and half chaps that aren’t actually paddock boots and half chaps. Or, in their words, “1 boot, 2 ways”! And they’re $625. And you can’t even ride in them. Stop it.

toryburch

 

Time to put on your half chaps and paint the town, I guess?

Then there’s J. Crew. Aside from the fact that they have completely unrealistic ideas of “barn hair”, they also don’t know how to spell reins.

jcrewequestrian

I dunno about y’all but I totally dress like that and stare longingly into pastures.

They also think that this giant red scarf/blanket thing is very equestrian chic. Because I dunno about y’all, but I always wear a big red cape when I ride.

Not sure how to wear it? No worries, Ralph Lauren also thinks that a red cape is very equestrian, and they show us how it’s done.

rlad

Too bad nobody told them that a pinque coat has to be earned, not purchased. Faux pas, Ralph Lauren, faux pas!

But Riding Warehouse has a fall clearance sale (up to 75% off!) going on, if you want actual riding clothes that serve an actual purpose and are not stupid expensive.

 

33 thoughts on “When mainstream fashion goes “equestrian”

  1. I’m pretty sure that they should have titled that cape “equestrian chic to hospital chic” because I’m pretty sure that is where my horse would put me…

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  2. I stare lovingly into pastures sometimes, but it really depends on what’s in the pasture. Big beautiful warmblood? Perfectly laid out turnouts? Cue the googly eyes.

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  3. Thank you for starting my day with a laugh, y’all!! I saw the Tory Burch boots and was cracking up. Can you just say, stupid. I really have to wonder who’s gonna buy those: equestrians will snort (and go drop $625 on a nice pair of paddocks and/or custom half chaps!) and fashionistas will think they’re goofy.

    I have not seen the Crew ad but that would make me want to fling the mag across the room. The rein/reign thing is done ALL THE FREAKING TIME and it makes me cuckoo! Also, since when is a poncho barn wear? Unless it’s a plastic rain (see what I did there) poncho, nope, never. 😉 They are really reaching here…

    The pinque coats cracks me up. I acquired several “rider dolls” for my daughter when she was little – a Barbie, some male (not Ken) and another female (not Brenda Breyer, those people at least have a clue), and they all came wearing red jackets. Barbie’s coat also had black velvet trim and bling which you also *probably* wouldn’t see in the hunt field but hey, when you can’t actually sit on a horse I guess it doesn’t really matter. 😄 Cartoon creators and children’s book illustrators are also fond of garbing riders in red coats all the damn time. Kids never understood why it irked me.

    I’m glad the equestrian trend in fashion continues though, as I’m able to find stuff that I’ll still be wearing years from now when the rest of the non-genuine horse people have moved on!

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  4. My favorite part of this is that a friend of mine shared that Tory Burch ad on facebook, and another friend commented “Finally, I will be the super stylish mom instead of “why dont you dress like other mom’s?” mom.”

    So I continue to roam the grocery store straight from the barn with pride!

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  5. All of this… :O

    My mom once bought these stupid expensive pants with knee patches I was like lady! Just buy me some nice riding pants. You can wear them out for “fashion” once if you want to look like a doofus.

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  6. One of my riding friends is a professor at the local college and has admitted to wearing her knee-patch breeches to teach when she knows she’s going directly to the barn afterward. She says she always has at least one student compliment her in a sort of “OMG where did you get those awesome pants?!” way. (This has somehow NOT led to increase in business for my workplace. I blame J. Crew.)

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  7. Ha! I got that JCrew email, and was excited to open it up hoping I’d find horsey print button downs and awesome sweaters. I was hugely disappointed.
    I think the Ralph Lauren cape is kind of reminiscent of wearing my horses wool cooler while waiting around at winter shows. Hopefully that’s what he was going for, because of any brand, Ralph usually does a decent job of not being ridiculous with equestrian themed clothing.

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  8. WHAAAAA??!?!?!! You don’t wear your big bright red cape scarf when you do gallop sets??? This post cracked me up! Oh, and you suck, I just bought another pair of breeches from RW!

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  9. So I was laughing over this yesterday, then I went to the barn today, and much to my surprise there was a photoshoot out there featuring a bunch of folks I didn’t know in their faux equestrian attire. I had to fight to keep my composure so thank you for that! XD

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