MEH.

When Bobby and I were in the truck driving to our lesson this past weekend, he asked me what my show plans were for the year. I just kind of shrugged and said “I dunno.” And it’s true, I really don’t know. Despite the fact that we have a show this weekend, I just haven’t felt very dedicated to the whole serious showing thing right now. That goal of “chill out about shows in 2017” hasn’t been all that difficult so far, to be honest.

not nearly as difficult as walking in a straight line

Maybe it’s because 2015 and 2016 were SO show-oriented. I lived and breathed a show schedule, first in qualifying for AEC in 2015 and then the 3 Day in 2016. Every show was vitally important and I had to be really aware of how I spent my dollars. This year though? Meh. Meh is really the only word I have for it. I want my horse and I to continue to move forward and get better, of course, but for once I’m not measuring success in the form of show results and qualifications. There is no big lofty goal that I feel like we have to hit, and I don’t have a detailed, planned out show schedule.

Henry’s goal: eat as much grass as possible

I do still want to get in the ring, for sure. I need to get more experience under my belt at the new level, and I want to show, I just don’t want my life to revolve around it. I have a vague overall plan… there are a few more schooling shows I want to hit this spring if the timing works out (but I won’t be upset if it doesn’t), and I’m thinking our first recognized of the year will be Feather Creek in June. There’s a recognized at our regular schooling venue in April, and I have every reason to go, but I’m just not feeling it right now. I keep looking at the Omnibus, feeling like I should go. I have no reason NOT to, so I should WANT to, right? But I don’t. For no particular reason, it’s just not calling to me.

I guess it’s not calling to him, either

Maybe I managed to burn myself out a little bit in the past two years. Maybe I’m just too preoccupied with upcoming Baby Horse (holy shit, only another month or so to go!) to focus that much on showing. Maybe after losing the fall season due to my horse being injured gave me a different perspective. Maybe since Trainer is pregnant and “out” for the spring season, I’ve decided to let myself off the hook for a little while with the serious shows too. Maybe it’s a combination of all of those things.

Runnin around like wheeeeeeeeee, we do what we want!

But for once I don’t have a very specific plan. I don’t feel a twinge of envy when I see other people entering all these shows or planning an extensive show season. There’s zero FOMO here. It’s weird because part of me is like “You need to focus!” and the other part of me is like “MEH.”. It’s been kind of a nice change to just immerse myself in lessons, enter a show if I feel like it, not enter it if I don’t feel like it, and enjoy my horse. Things are pretty fluid around here these days.

moar lessons!

It’s been weird though, because it’s almost as if I feel like I’m doing something wrong here. Like I need permission to take my foot off the gas a little bit. Like I’m obligated to want to go to all these shows or something. I almost feel a little guilty about my total ambivalence. Weird how the psyche works, I guess?

30 thoughts on “MEH.

  1. I’m feeling the same way this year, though for different reasons! My pony is getting older, and while he’s still continuing to get better and better (he’s like Benjamin Button for reals) and I DO want to show him this year… it just isn’t a priority for me right now. I’m really enjoying our lessons, really REALLY enjoying trail riding and hunting, and it’s kind of freeing to not have the expectation of a full, successful eventing season hanging over my head. The thought of running BN XC right now makes my stomach turn anyway, so what’s the point in pushing for that goal again when all I really want to do is have fun with my pony and learn stuff?!

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    1. OMG i am now thinking of Benjamin Button whenever I think of Dino from this point forward cause he totally is aging backwards 😉 HA

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  2. I’ve loosened up a bit about showing this year too — although my season is still quite a bit of a ways out. I have a plan… mostly because the shows are close. But otherwise I’m trying to take a laid-back approach.

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  3. you are SUCH a weirdo. The whole thing of you not stressing is not stressing so enjoy the lessons and whatever shows come your way!! 🙂 AND BABY HORSE HERE SOON! YOU KNOW you have to text me even in the middle of the night #traditions 🙂 So excited.

    Where is show this weekend?

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    1. It’s funny, a couple times I’ve found myself going “I don’t think I’m gonna do that Pine Hill recognized, because…. um… I just don’t want to and I’m an adult soooo….”. The show this weekend is at the same place. Hopefully it won’t rain out this time.

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    2. Come visit when they are born!!! Or when they are in Junction… because anything is better than visiting Midland 😜 Of course baby horses are awesome no matter where you’re at lol!! And bring your monkey dog too!!!! ❤❤❤

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      1. Hi Michelle B How exciting is it that all those babies are coming? Do you have the straight jacket for Amanda yet? LOL AND OLLIE SAYS HI (Monkey Dog). You need to come to FHI next year!

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  4. Meh. I totally get it. I didn’t sit out last show season by choice, and I DID have a little jealousy about not being able to go do all the things…. But I also gotta admit it was a good reset. It’s been months of me evaluating the whats and the whys, what do I want and why? And I feel really good about that now. And am hopeful for something approximating a “first” season with Charlie!

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    1. I’m waiting for the jealousy to kick in, but so far nada. Granted, I don’t have a shortage of schooling shows/events on my radar, so I don’t really feel like I’m missing out. I sure did feel that way last fall though!

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  5. I find that whenever I hit a really big goal I just get this meh feeling for a while. Last year I did my 100 mile endurance ride. It was amazing. And then afterward I just lost all interest in doing another competition. I’m sure you’ll get back to it. For me, changing it up sparks the fire again. Maybe come out here and saddle up Gem and do an endurance ride on her. I’d love to host you and get you through a 50 miler 🙂

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  6. I think that’s normal. Sometimes we’re really hungry for competition and sometimes we want to hang out at home and learn stuff. If I were in your shoes, I think the arrival of baby horse would definitely be swaying my show plans!

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  7. I think it’s totally fine to take your foot off the gas. It’s probably good! We give horses time off right? We need it too. There’s no reason to force yourself to do something. It seems super healthy to do what you want and not do what you don’t want to do. And in the future when you have another big goal to reach, you’ll have had a nice mental break and your focus and drive will come roaring back!

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  8. I am not competitive in the slightest so I really cannot comprehend why you’d feel bad about not showing…
    There are so many other ways to enjoy your horse.
    As long as you let Henny jump an XC course now and again, I’ll doubt he’s going to miss showing.
    Also: baby horse! I can see that being a priority….

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  9. The fact that you continually text me to let me know what day we are on makes me think that Presto MIGHT have something to do with it 😜 I can’t wait till they get here so that I can start taking pics of babies instead of utters lol!!

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  10. Eh oh. I’ve got some other goals I’m working on with C right now and I’m in the same boat with shows. I don’t not want to do them, I just kinda don’t care if we do. We’re going to go do some fun stuff and have a good year and if showing happens, great, and if not, meh.

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  11. I am still trying to figure out what my plan for this year is. Annie and I drove all over the freaking place last year with meh levels of success. This year I really want to improve but I’m not committed yet on what that will look like.

    I scoured the omnibus for shows I would consider doing. Tallied up the cost of some that I might enjoy and then wanted to throw up bc $$. A lot of my plan will depend on if I end up buying a house or small property this year. Time will tell!

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  12. If you enter feather in June we must meet up to say hi! I’ve been in this situation myself before lots of drive one show year and a need for a break the next. I think in a way it’s good for the horses to!

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  13. I’m finally in the opposite place — I finally have some spare cash, my horse has some hamsters on the wheel (most of the time), and now I’m like WHAT SHOWS CAN I GO TO?!?! Circle of show life I guess!

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  14. Also in the opposite place this year which is good because I’ve never really had a year where I have been able to show much. I do think it’s good to do what you feel like and not push yourself to show just “because you should” 🙂

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