My marbles are definitely lost. There are bats in my belfry. My cheese done slipped off my cracker. There’s a kangaroo loose in my top paddock. My cuckoo clock is stuck at 12. However many other euphemisms you can think of for crazy, they all apply.
I entered a dressage show.
Like… one that doesn’t have any jumping at all. Not even a combined test. And they do real USDF dressage tests (although thanks y’all for letting me do my lil’ USEA test cuz I don’t have any more room in my brain to learn more). I have never been able to fathom why anyone would want to willingly do a dressage test when you don’t even get to jump afterward as a reward, but I guess I’m about to find out what this business is all about.
How did this happen? I dunno. Moment of weakness? Sometimes I have ideas that seem really good at the time but are actually crap? Or I go along way too easily with things that Trainer suggests… that’s probably it. I’ve noticed I’m very agreeable to anything that is presented to me dressed as a learning/development opportunity. I should remember that in the future (but I won’t) because I think Trainer has figured out how I work. Damn her manipulative ways.
But I sent my little entry in for a dressage test at a show next weekend. Luckily it’s just a schooling show, and the whole point of going is so I can practice my Training test B before our event the weekend after. Test B is really stupid, just in case anyone asked my opinion (they didn’t). Who wants to do a figure 8 of 15m circles at X and canter lengthenings on a circle? Literally no one. Definitely not me and Henry. Maybe I should wear green instead of navy so that no one recognizes me? Or I could just wear a shirt with the USEA logo plastered all over it so that everyone knows I’m an eventer and gives me a wide berth?
Dressage judges freak me out. They’re so… judgey and…. dressagey. At least at an event they know in advance that they should probably lower their expectations. At a dressage show I don’t even get a disclaimer. On a scale of 1-10 how big of a faux pas would it be to say “OMG I’M AN EVENTER PLEASE HAVE MERCY” as I trot past C before I start my test? I’m, uh, asking for a friend.