How to Get a New Trailer

Ok, so I didn’t actually get a new trailer, but I did get the poor long-suffering SO (henceforth known in this post as PLSSO) to say the words “Let’s just buy you a new trailer” AND he didn’t even flinch when I rattled on forever about exactly what I want and where to get it. At one point he even muttered – mark this one down – “that seems reasonable”. I know… I was also shocked. But how did I get that to happen? Quite simple really, here’s my How To guide.

Step 1: Bring trailer home so you can wash it and do a few minor upgrades.

Step 2: Ask PLSSO if he can come with you to Tractor Supply to help you load up all the new rubber mats you want to buy. Let him go measure the space (even though you already did), because he’s a dude and dudes love to play with tape measures.

Step 3: Stand at Tractor Supply and argue about how many feet you actually need to make it work. Enjoy baking in the 100 degree heat for 30 minutes while waiting for someone to cut the mats for you. Watch lily-white PLSSO get more and more sunburned by the second.

Step 4: Buy PLSSO some candy while you’re in line at the checkout, because he’s already getting grumpy and he has no idea what he’s even in for yet.

Step 5: Casually mention, while sitting in traffic on the highway, that you want to stop at Lowes to grab some wire mesh to put behind the plexiglass windows in the front of the trailer. Ask if he thinks he can do that. Of course he can, he’s PLSSO!

Step 6: Spend 45 minutes in Lowe’s because the layout makes no freaking sense whatsoever and you can’t find shit.

Step 7: Get home, pull down the box of car cleaning supplies from the shelf you can almost reach, drop it, and send the contents of the box clattering in every direction underneath the giant ’56 Mercury. Smile apologetically as he climbs under said car to retrieve everything.

Step 8: Start washing trailer while he gets to work trimming the mats down to a perfect fit (in theory). Accidentally spray him a little. SWEAR it was an accident. Pretend not to notice the glare you get from PLSSO.

Step 9: After about 20 minutes you’ll hear a loud string of expletives and see a mat go flying in one direction and a box blade go flying in the other. Keep pretending to not notice.

Step 10: Keep scrubbing the trailer while he finally wrestles the mats into place. Casually point out that one of them is overlapping and that just won’t do. Definitely DO NOT NOTICE the glare you’re getting by now.

Step 11: Make a big fuss about how beautiful those almost-straight mats look! PLSSO offers to help scrub down the inside of the trailer, since you can’t really reach the ceiling. Take him up on his offer, then feel kinda bad when he basically covers himself in dirty mold water as it drips down on his head.

Step 12: Ok so maybe you’re like 5 hours into this project at this point, but why stop now? You’ve still got windows to do! PLSSO is actually kind of pumped about this part, because it seems more fun than cutting rubber or getting dripped on. At least… until he accidentally breaks the plexiglass trying to get the window off.

Step 13: Get back in the car. Go back to Lowes. Buy more plexiglass. Don’t even bother trying to buy him candy at the checkout this time, there’s no more sugarcoating his annoyance at this point.

Step 14: Go home and take about 25 tries to get the holes drilled into the plexiglass correctly. PLSSO is really starting to not like your ghetto-ass trailer anymore.

Step 15: Supervise as he insists on cutting the wire mesh so you don’t cut yourself. Watch him cut himself after approximately 3 seconds. Here’s where you should take a step back, because he’s about to yell “I’M JUST GOING TO BUY YOU A NEW EFFING TRAILER, THIS IS RIDICULOUS, THIS PIECE OF BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP…”. Get comfy, that part goes on for a while.

Step 16: Once that’s out of his system, follow him back out to the trailer and help hold things in place while he screws stuff down (and only cracks the plexiglass once), rattling on and on the whole time about possible trailer purchases. PLSSO’s eyes have glazed over by now, he’s dead inside. You’ve got him right where you want him.

Step 17: Start packing everything back into your pretty, shiny, so-fresh-and-so-clean-clean trailer. Step back and admire your amazing handiwork. Look for PLSSO to share this moment with you, but he’s already retreated to the garage and cracked a beer.

Step 18: Order his favorite Chinese food. Thank him about a thousand times for all the help. Continue interjecting thoughts about new trailers… next summer perhaps? He nods and says “Yes. And let’s get a NEW one. A nice new one. I am never ever doing any of this shit again for a long long long time.”

And with those words, you have WON THE DAY! Enjoy your victory! Even if you got a hell of a blister on your thumb and there were no Bandaids left because PLSSO used them all.

*corgi not required, but strongly suggested for levity.

 

30 thoughts on “How to Get a New Trailer

  1. Ahahaha this is amazing. I especially like the “get comfy this goes on for awhile” part because that’s SO my boyfriend. Italian with a temper!

    HUGE victory on your part. Congratulations on a handily won battle.

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  2. Hmmmm….I will for sure have to try this when the time comes for an upgrade. The hubby is already on the very edge with my scheming for a pony for the kiddo. I have him THIS close to thinking it is his own idea.

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  3. Lord, this is nothing compared to what I wanted to do to my rust bucket before I realized the cost of the upgrades would supersede the value of the trailer and I sold it to some other schmuck. Her husband probably hates me. Somehow I’ve yet to get a new trailer though…some day…

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  4. This worked for me πŸ˜‰ Got a new trailer just this last weekend and it is a thing of beauty (Hawk, 2H straight load). Only had to discuss trailer repairs with my husband for about 6 months before he started thinking a new trailer wasn’t such a bad idea.

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  5. Nicely done! I’m excited for next year when you get your new trailer! Now I just need a hubs to try this on….
    I’m thinking about trading mine this winter. It’s served me well and is still in pretty good shape, but I figure if I do plan to upgrade, I should do it while the trailer still has some value.

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  6. new trailer is needed and buy in the NorthEast so i can see you all when you come to get it. Heck I might even be able to help drive it back πŸ™‚ What is your perfect ideal trailer or is that for a different blog? Also i sent you my local trailer connections! I came very close to buying a Frontier (And so did Emma I think before she settled on the Cotner)! I went with the Kingston due to needing a lighter trailer for my truck (AND LOVE MY KINGSTON). πŸ™‚ And it will take you a year to decide anyway. But you should have gotten SO to sign while he was angry πŸ™‚ PS Quinn and Stewie looked like GREAT HELP!

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    1. I want another 2h straight load with a ramp. Preferably with a small dressing room or some kind of storage (like Emma’s would probably work). Something with good ventilation. Fully removeable divider to make a big box stall would be a big plus. Around 10-12kish.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. yes totally doable. The Frontier with dressing room was 11 i looked at. My trailer was 11 (removable divider but no storage).. there is also a bunch of others…you should be able to find something. And i got a straight load too. I hate slants. (the ramp I have is one finger as well so it is easy to be by yourself)….i love trailer shopping so look forward to following along (unlike Saddle shopping LOL)!

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  7. Erica McCrary at Hawk Trailers in Denton, TX will fix you right up! emccrary@rockinghorsetrailersales.com

    With luck she will sell you a barely-used demo model, as she did for me. Got it at used-trailer price, it’s shiny fresh clean and looks brand new, and it has so many extras and goodies included because it is a demo that I could never, ever afford to put on a new one. It’s double-sided and has fans for the horses. Etc. & so on!

    Happy trailer shopping, wherever you find one!

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  8. But on the other hand how will we know you’re there when we first drive through the gates into a horse trials if you don’t have the rather distinctive looking trailer you have now? Oh wait – the truck-bed tent. Right! πŸ˜‰

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  9. This is hilarious, and extremely effective….I have my nice little trailer to prove it! It was used when I bought it but it was in great shape. The only maintenance I have to do on it is peek at the tires occasionally! But if you haven’t lived through the years of owning/using shitty stuff, you don’t appreciate the good stuff as much. You’re building character. πŸ˜‰

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  10. Haha! Funny stuff and also true. The way I got my first trailer was to take my husband on a couple of endurance rides where we camped in tents, the back of his dad’s truck (borrowed), and the back of a trailer (also borrowed). My first trailer had living quarters! πŸ˜‰

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  11. Those suckers have no idea what they’re getting into when they get involved with a horse girl. Still can’t figure out why they stick around…. LOL

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  12. I bought my first new trailer a couple of years ago with every intention of selling my giant baby. Each year that goes by, baby continues to grow and I don’t try very hard to sell him and I keep saying that he has to be sold because I am not buying another new trailer. πŸ™‚ At some point, DH will get super tired of watching me stuff the baby into the last slot of the normal-sized trailer and tell me to go buy a bigger one. In the meantime, we wait for it to become his idea and casually remind people that the dinosaur is for sale because doesn’t fit in the pretty trailer.

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  13. OMG this is the best! lol Love it πŸ˜€ It’s one of the reasons why I’m looking at a relatively new trailer to get in a few years. I totally applaud you for doing all this fixer-upper, but a fixer-upper I am not lol. I’ll do it with certain things, but I get freaked out I’ll miss something uber important on a project like that lol. And if you get a gooseneck = being able to stick a bed in there πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ lol

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  14. This is the kind of project where my PLSSO disappears halfway through and is like FINISH IT YOURSELF I AM DONE WITH THIS STUPID GAME. But maybe that is also the perfect time to suggest how a newer, better trailer/toy/chicken coop would solve the problem of having to do this ever again in the future.

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