The Mailman Hates Me

The original title for this post was “Singlehandedly Keeping Amazon in Business”, but then I realized that it isn’t JUST Amazon boxes that are taking up half of my dining room and providing Grem with endless If-I-Fits-I-Sits opportunities.

Grembox
or in this case, Its-not-open-yet-but-I-sits-and-waits

I ordered a bunch of random crap from Amazon for the new trailer. I mentioned most of it last week, like the hanging mirror and the wall gripper thingies and the rug. I was not totally honest with you guys. The full list is actually something more like:

  • rug
  • wall gripper thingies (2)
  • hanging mirror
  • cross tie rings (2)
  • hanging organizer
  • USB rechargable fans (3, on 2 different orders. Approximately one bajillion people have asked me for the link to these so here ya go.)
  • wheel chocks (2)
  • expanding hose
  • twin air mattress
  • carabiner clips
  • bungee cord assortment
  • trailer ties (2)
  • folding step stool
  • trailer decals
  • heavy duty outdoor velcro (2)

And Tik Maynard’s new book. Not for the trailer, but… just because I wanted it, ok? Tik is an eventer. Tik is cool. Buy Tik’s book.

Anyway… as most of you know, the thing about Amazon is that pretty much everything ships separately. Or at least it seems like pretty much everything I ordered did. A couple days after I placed the order, boxes started showing up in groups (side note, what do you call a group of boxes? A flock? A herd? A murder?). One afternoon I drove up the street, saw the poor mailman parked in my driveway, digging boxes out of his truck and making a pile. It was 105 degrees out, he seemed less than thrilled. I was a wee bit embarrassed. He’s gotta be wondering wtf I’m doing and why I can’t stay off of Amazon. I feel a need to put a big “I’M SO SORRY” sign on my front door.

Poor fatbuckskin has to deal with my neuroses. The price you pay for being my friend.

I also placed a Riding Warehouse order, for a hitch cover (recommended to me by aforementioned FatBuckskin) and another gallon of fly spray. Of course, I didn’t realize until after the fact that the fly spray was backordered, so guess what got split into two separate shipments? At least those are the UPS guy and not the mailman… spread some of the misery around.

And then stupid Dover got me (again) with their stupid summer sale (again) because who passes up a wool dress sheet for their dog for $4.50?? Ok, lots of people probably. But not me. I have an old JRT that gets cold easily and will look fancy AF in this thing. In the winter. Which is like 5 months away. And lasts all of 6 weeks in Texas. Details.

I have poor impulse control

But ya know, in order to make that purchase worthwhile I had to throw a few other things in, right? And it’s possible that I have a minor show shirt addiction problem, especially if said shirt is a kind of unique Horseware design. And $8.99. I will totally wear this.

Plus I’ve been hemming and hawing over the idea of nameplate bracelets for a long time but didn’t really love the padded halter looking ones. This simple braided one is more my style (it looks very similar to a bracelet I bought in downtown Austin that says “Badass Motherf*cker”… without the star part… because if you put the f word on a bracelet I will probably buy it, it’s my favorite word.), especially at $7.50 a pop.

But then I had to order nameplates for them right? But not from Dover, because they were $11-15 each. So I snuck over to Haltertags.com and ordered two nameplates for $12. I pick the weirdest possible ways to pinch pennies, I know. Jewelry is not one of the things I want to spend money on, so spending less than $14 a piece on the bracelets makes me happier.

The saddle racks for the trailer are almost here (again, sorry mailman) and then the packages should start to slow down a bit, barring some Amazon stragglers.

Image result for saddle boss saddle rack

Oh, and the Nathe bit that I snagged on eBay because somehow I used to have 2 Nathes and now I have none. They’re my favorite “baby bit”, so I definitely need another in my arsenal. It’s en route.

Then there’s that Ogilvy order that I placed in May and completely forgot about until my friend asked me a shipping question pertaining to it. That one should be extra fun to open because I legit don’t even remember what I ordered anymore. Pretty sure it was an all-navy dressage half pad and then a new cover for the jump half pad, but I definitely do not remember what colors I got. Surprise!

And there may or may not be some new Lund stuff coming too. And some Majyk Equipe. Ahem.

So… what do y’all get your mailman for Christmas, because I might owe him BIGLY after this little spree…

28 thoughts on “The Mailman Hates Me

  1. ha ha ha still laughing hard over that stuff….and Stewie will look adorable in that coat! YAY.

    And yes you have a problem. Hopefully your mail man doesnt go postal on you HA!

    Wow that is a LOT OF STUFF….course some of the amazon boxes WERE SO’s too right? Yeah…..

    Love Gremlin on that box. So cute…

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  2. or as my husband says, “its Christmas everyday” whenever USPS or UPS shows up as I am singlehandedly keeping Amazon, RW, and SmartPak in Business…..and several eBay sellers as well…..

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  3. A nuisance. It is called a nuisance.
    I am guilty of this too and I am seriously cutting back because I just moved and moves always end up being more expensive than you thought, right? Or is this just me? Ooops.
    I am still chuckling at the thought of you taking extra detours because you were ashamed of the mail man….that could´ve been me…

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  4. If I was ever to be a doorstep package stealer, you would be my target house. 😍 Luckily, I am not. Such great stuff! I can’t wait to see how your trailer looks when it’s all put into place.

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  5. I HATE AMAZON’S SHIPPING! I ordered darning needles, which came in a thing the same size as regular sewing needles aka pretty small. They shipped it in a box about the size that Grem is trying to fit into above. I got so angry.
    And thank you for showing me a bracelet I didn’t know I needed. I’m not a big fan of the padded leather ones either, so those will be perfect. And I’m sure I’ll be ordering a lot of name tags for halters and bridles now, those are very affordable!

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      1. Overstock is even worse on the boxes. I got a small item (for the house not the barn) and it came in a huge box and i unwrapped it and it was the tiny sconce shade i had bought with ten other things. The others came in boxes together this was in a box that would hold a 84 blanket and it was literally two inches across. Puzzling.

        Actually pretty sure our mailman hates me too lol (we have a long ass driveway they have to drive down for packages)

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      2. Ahahaha oh gosh, that’s so terrible. I’m a resource conservationist, too, so it reeeeally bothers me. My cats get tired of listening to me yell at boxes, ranting about how we need to take better care of our planet and better utilize our resources.

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    1. I mean… you know realistically that the mailman probably deals with this all the time, but it doesn’t make you feel like any less of an asshole when he’s got 10000000 boxes in his truck and half of them are yours.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Here in socal it also gets super hot. Just a few weeks ago we had a postal worker die from the heat. I started leaving a cooler out with Gatorade and water in it. The postal workers really seem to appreciate it and it’s the least I can do to thank them for putting up with all my crap.

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    1. I saw that thenevernedingsearchsite that was scary. My sister is a rural postal worker in VA and I told her about that poor woman dying. What a great idea leaving the Gatorade/water out. BTW our local Kroger has a cooler of water bottles by the exit telling everyone to hydrate and take a free bottle. Pretty good customer service! 🙂

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  7. A flock of herons is called a siege and with the number of boxes you have laying in wait I’m gonna go ahead and vote that a group of boxes also be called a siege.

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  8. Is the hitch cover you ordered one that locks? I have one that does and use it when I park the trailer any place other than my house. There’s no way it can get stolen that way – or at least not very easily! And I got a trailer camera for my birthday last week! Thank you wonderful husband! So of course I had to order a tablet holder for my truck (for viewing while driving of course!), and couldn’t decide between two cup holder insert holder thingys – so I ordered both. They came together in one box. Made me sad. I haven’t even opened it yet, since the camera isn’t installed. Hopefully this weekend!

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  9. Sorry, I see the link now. You should get a hitch lock too, for peace of mind. And a lockable pin for the receiver hitch and ball on your truck, if you don’t already have one. Crazy what people will steal!

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  10. I got the riding warehouse hitch cover, too! All the cool kids were getting one. Please post a picture of your saddle racks installed, I need to figure out how to wedge two more into my trailer. And dumb question: what’s the twin bed for? I haven’t quite got my mind around sleeping in my trailer so I was wondering about your setup. Also, which decals? I’m thinking about the “CAUTION HORSES” ones. Must. Not. Order. Shirt.

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