Back in the days when I actively watched my blog stats and made a real effort, I always looked through the “search terms” on a fairly regular basis. I was curious about all the different ways that people found my site – what they had searched for that somehow ultimately led them here. One time, a few years ago, I did a post with all the funniest search terms I had noticed. These days I don’t really actively look at that stuff very much anymore, but sometimes as I’m scrolling past, things catch my eye. One thing in particular got my attention the other day, which led me to looking through the search terms from 2018 so far. Oh my. There are some doozies. I thought they warranted a resurrection of the Best Search Terms post.
The vast majority of them are what you’d expect – people googling the blog name, people looking for coupon codes, people wondering how to dye a saddle, or looking for specific product reviews. But sometimes you come across one that just really makes you raise your eyebrow for whatever reason. I picked my top 10 favorites out of those, set them in some awesome quote poster backgrounds, and here we are now.
Like this one… I’m trying to imagine the person who typed this into their search bar. Is this a big problem in relationships? What did they decide to do? Did her logos get any better? I need closure on this.
I mean… I’m pretty sure I don’t do this very often, but… there there, here’s a kleenex.
Can’t really argue with that one, though. Accurate-apotamus.
Did this person ask google to google this for him/her? And chew toys? Is that a thing?
99.9% sure I don’t want to know the motives behind this one, or why it led them to me.
Man, I really feel for the person who searched for this. Aren’t we ALL searching for answers like these? Will we ever find them? #deepthoughts
NO, INTERNET, NO! DO NOT DO THIS. NO.
EQUALLY HORRIFYING, DO NOT DO THIS EITHER.
I’m… not really sure what to think of this one. I mean, I do have horses, so…
And last but certainly not least, my personal favorite:
I dunno kid, but if you found out please come back and let the rest of us know.
All I have to say is that it takes all kinds of kinds.
LikeLike
I’m laughing so hard I’m crying.
LikeLike
OMG I’m crying. These are hilarious lolol
LikeLike
These are fantastic. I can’t even look at mine… I have amateur in my title.
LikeLike
omg you must do this
LikeLike
Ok, truth, I don’t know how. Google stats doesn’t give me search words, just referring sites.
LikeLike
That’s really sad. Yours are probably phenomenal.
LikeLike
Guide to getting free pony:
– look out window, find pony in yard
– Find owner who declares they no longer want pony
– Convince spouse pony is just visiting for a few days but needs a name just in case
– keep pony
I can’t believe you have forgotten the magical story of Betty Oops.
LikeLike
But the pony hasn’t STAYED free. Pony costs money now. This is the magical part I haven’t yet figured out. I’m gonna go ask google.
LikeLike
If you ask, please ask google to google it for you. That was my favorite one!
LikeLike
Psssh according to you. According to what I tell husband she’s cost maybe $100 in the past 6 months.
Actually that might be true because I basically don’t feed her anything I have to buy.
LikeLike
I’m well versed in the things you tell husband.
LikeLike
People are very interesting. What do you use for your stats reports? I have been thinking about upgrading myself because I am curious what people search for and how they find me.
LikeLike
Hahahahahaha I am snorting with laughter. These are GOLD!
LikeLike
Horse Ass-Licking? HAHAHA!! I mean Henny CAN do some serious derp, but I don’t see him as an ass licker.
LikeLike
This led to me doing a lot of serious introspection about my post topics and word usage.
LikeLike
Are there people who type “google …” into google before they type what they are googling? Because …
LikeLike
I think so. I really think so…
LikeLike
My hope is that they were just talking at Google instead of typing and that’s how WP transcribes that but I am not confident about that.
LikeLike
given the number of people I’ve seen type “GOOGLE” into the google search bar, I’m zero percent confident in that.
LikeLike
😂😑
LikeLike
Yes, Karen. Yes.
LikeLike
I really shouldn’t have read this during a very boring work meeting with the entire campus in attendance. I may have snorted.
LikeLike
Having worked as customer support for a company that made websites for TIRE DEALERS (i.e. I got asked every single day if they could just fax me the pictures they wanted up on their websites….), I am surprised by NOTHING anymore when it comes to people vs. the internet. That being said, horse ass-licking????? 😛 😀
LikeLike
Dying 😂😂😂
LikeLike
Google is the best, HAHAHA
LikeLike
Mine are so awful… “girl with horse penis” … “girl cleaning horse penis”… ETC…. it’s like why did i write about sheath cleaning… WHY
LikeLike
WHAT THE HELL hahahahahaha
LikeLike